Love is a word used over and over when describing a good person. To become a better person you would expect an increase in love to be one of your defining personal characteristics. However, there is something about love that needs to be understood. It is about the motivation to love. Love is really shortchanged if it is given only with the expectation of an equal return of love. True love is given free without a demand that it be returned with interest or reciprocated.
A second understanding about love related to becoming a better person is the willingness to be the first to offer love. The better person is willing to love first not knowing what will be the response from the other. As a person moves further along the road to being a better person they realize that they want to love. They have an identity of being a loving person so they want to love and need not wait until they receive love to offer love. Being loving is worth the risk of being rejected or rebuffed. You might say that loving is its own reward.
In Becoming a Better Marriage Partner I write about an interesting irony. It is that we feel sorry for the person who is loved less but loves more in a relationship. My answer on page 74 is, “In some strange way we believe that when a person loves someone more than they are loved back that they suffer. The opposite is true. To love another more has its own reward.”
In your quest to become a better person the opportunity to love is important. That is why the best way to become a better person is to become a better marriage partner and the best way to become a better marriage partner is to become a better person. Now you don’t need to be married to become a better marriage partner but you do need to unselfishly love someone even to the point of being able to put their needs and welfare ahead of your own.
Your Question: Is it wise to be wary of a lopsided relationship when it comes to loving another? Should you make sure your love is returned in equal measure?
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